The Most Clichéd piece of Cliché to ever be Cliché
by NMNS
Summary: In the times of waiting, in the times of wonder, three authors stand united. Their task was to write the funniest cliche ever. And they did. Everything from the one night stand to the infamous rain scene.
1. The beginning

_**Summary: In the troubled times between potter books, three authors came together, united as one, to bring you the most cliched piece of cliche to ever have been cliched. From the one night stand to the rain scene, this fic has it all.**_

_**The Most Clichéd piece of Cliché to ever be Clichéd.**_

By NMNS Minus M.

Disclaimer: The plot belongs to so many authors its not funny. The characters belong to JK Rowling, but we agree she would be ashamed of their characterisation.

THIS IS A CLICHÉ. ALL CHARACTERS ARE OTT AND OOC.

We sincerely hope you enjoy this piece of trash.

NMNS Minus M.

_**Chapter the first: Loving Lily Evans.**_

The hillside was quiet, as a gentle mist flooded the grounds surrounding the classmates, immersed in quiet studies, sketching various plants.

Crouched by a particularly interesting plant with blue-green buds, James sketched innocently taking in every detail with the flick of his wrist, from the blossoming petals, to the tiny moisture droplets, scattered amongst the grass blades. The tiniest movement detected in James' peripheral vision alerted him to the on-coming arrival of another presence. A flash of red in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and the butterflies started their familiar fluttering again.

"Evans," he regarded her.

"Potter," she replied nonchalantly.

"Black!" Sirius laughed, breaking the tension that was obviously sexual.

Lily rolled her eyes and in a single movement, turned, flicked her hair, and seemingly instantly was gone.

James sighed heavily and returned to his work.

"Potter n' Evans!" Sirius laughed, followed by many kissing noises, and finger puppetry.

"You are so pathetic," muttered James, noticing the puppetry out of the corner of his eye.

"Dude, not pathetic, Lame." Sirius corrected with a smile, then continued, "Just ask her out man!" James instantly got frustrated by that comment. He put his drawing utensils away and stood up abruptly.

"Look man, every time that thought crosses my mind, you interrupt me. Every time I may have the perfect opportunity and we are in the perfect location, you come and ruin it! So don't tell me what I should do!" James cried, the anger and frustration present in his voice.

Sirius just stared. "Mate, its ok. Just trying to help." As he said that the bell rang.

Sirius continued, "Come on, lets go."

James sighed. "Sorry Black." he said, picking up his stuff.

"Its just been really hard lately. Every time I see her; I know it sounds lame, but every time I see her, I like her more and more."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah that does sound lame." James looked down.

"Jokes mate!" Sirius said, putting his arm around James' shoulders.

" 'Perfect location' " Sirius quoted in a deep voice, "You pussy."

Both the boys laughed as they made their way to their next class.

History of Magic was, for James, quite boring. AS soon as he sat down his routine would begin.

Pulling out a quill he would scan the room for Lily. AS always she would be opposite him, diligently taking notes. He would then reach down into his bag to search for parchment, but really only looking to get a glimpse up her skirt. Like always her legs would be neatly folded, to obscure his view.

He would then gather some scrap parchment and write notes to the other Marauders, staring at Lily whilst waiting for a response.

On this particular day, the heat seemed to encompase the students, drawing robes of pupils.

James' robes were off, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Glancing around the room he noticed Lily taking off her own clothing, rolling her sleeves as well. As she was moving, James caught a glimpse down her top, Having undone the first two buttons due to the stifling heat. Groaning, he shifted in his seat to get more comfortable. The heat started to affect his thinking and James decided to rest his eyes for a minute in order to clear his thoughts. Falling asleep soon after, he only awoke when the bell signalled the end of class. With his hormones raging, he headed up for a quick, cold shower, images of Lily fresh in his head.

Much to the annoyance of James, Remus had already called the shower after he had smashed an egg on his own head.

Sirius explained to James as he waited for the shower what had happened.  
"See James, everyone makes mistakes. I mean, conjuring an egg above your head is a pretty little one, but actually falling for one, that's soooooo much worse." Sirius laughed, obviously talking about James' infatuation, with the 'lovely Miss Evans.'

James turned away and his eyes found a small spec of dust to frown at, trying to avoid Sirius' gaze.

"Prongs mate, I was only kidding. For some people there is more to life than just shagging!"

James snorted. "Only some mate, only some." was his reply.

The Great Hall was filling with Hogwarts students, heading to their house tables, talking amongst themselves.

The whole hall was full bar four seats in the centre of the Gryffindor table. The large oak doors flew open and the hall fell silent.

The Marauders entered to the applause of all the hall, bar the Slytherins dirty comments.

This was a normal welcoming for the four most popular wizards in the history of Hogwarts.

They were like royalty throughout the school. All the ladies' hands flew to their hearts or foreheads as the boys walked past, fainting at their feet.

"Prongs!" James heard Sirius call. He turned to see his friend making out with a random girl, and realised he couldn't possibly have called to him.

"Prongs! Prongs!" James opened his eyes.

"What the hell? We were just in the Great Hall." James started.

Sirius laughed. "You fell asleep while I was teasing you about Lily."

James sighed.

"What were you dreaming about?" questioned Sirius.

"Nothing special…" James wondered if Lily had fainted in his dream.

"Well mate, time for dinner," Sirius smirked, reaching his hand forward to help James up.

"Lily will be there." he encouraged.

James took his hand and hoisted himself off the bed. Without a word he headed for the door, completely forgetting about his shower.

As they neared the door the voices of chattering students could be heard.

When the duo finally ook their seats at the dinner table the food had already appeared and had began to clear itself.

The boys quickly piled food onto their plates.

James felt someone lightly tap his shoulder. He turned instinctively to see who it was.

Before he could say anything the red haired beauty before him spoke.

"Potter," she said politely.

"Evans," James smirked.

"Here. This is for you…. Oh and Sirius." she blushed turning a light pink, thrusting a light blue envelope into his hands.

James was shocked, for once he didn't know what to say.

'Say thankyou stupid!' a little voice in his head said. Before he had time to say anything Lily had walked hurriedly away.

"Whats that?" questioned Sirius, his mouth full of chicken.

"I dunno…." James replied inspecting the small paper object.

'Open it and find out!' cried that same annoying voice that seemed to have been a recent addition to his mind.

Without hesitation he ripped open the seal, and removed the small slip of paper it concealed.

"It's a party invite," replied James. "We are 2 of 20 people invited to it." James read from the paper.

"Bet Lily's goin' to be there!" Sirius joked.

James went quiet as he read the invitation fully.

"When is it?" asked Sirius.

"Friday. In three days." James replied with a smile.

"Who is throwing it? Will there be alcohol or will we have to make a trip to Hogsmeade?"

"Lily's throwing it, and yes! There will be drinks." James smiled.

"Yeah! Gimmie five!" Sirius and James high-fived.

Both boys finished their meals and left the hall, heading to the dormitories.

"Do you reckon she likes you?" asked Sirius with a grin that charmed the ladies.

James rolled his eyes. "And what makes you say that?" he replied, grinning widely.

"Well whenever you two are talking the air is always thick with tension that is obviously sexual. I mean she totally digs you, and just screams sex on a stick. You're so going to score at the party!"

"Swamp Fog!" muttered James as the portrait off the Fat Lady opened.

They walked in and, tripping over an upended piece of the welcome rug, Sirius knocked into James.

"Watch it." James joked, shoving Sirius off.

"Mate! Pull up your shirt!" Sirius ordered.

"No way, you know I'm not like that." James freaked.

"Just do it!" James sighed and lifted his shirt to reveal a rock hard, perfect six pack.

"Knew I felt something hard!" Sirius muttered. "Bet Lily would like that. Imagine all that you could do…" Sirius trailed off wistfully.

James rolled his eyes.

"You have one too."

"I did." Sirius corrected. "Now im working on my arms." he continued, pulling up his sleeves to display his well sculpted, greek god like arms.

"That's hot!" remarked a third year, sitting on the worn couches.

AN: Well that's about it for the first chapter. The next will include the party, and hopefully our fav scene, RAIN. Its as clichéd as possible for your entertainment.

Prizes to anyone who can count the most correct number of clichés we added. Trust us, its a lot.

We hope you enjoyed the first chapter as much as we enjoyed writing it. The next chapter should be out soon…. We cant wait to post the rain scene. Think total cliché. We wont disappoint.

XxX NMNS Minus the M.


	2. The party

_**The Most Clichéd piece of Cliché to ever have been Clichéd**_

_**Chapter 2: The Party**_

The party was upon James before he could say 'Lily.'

Making his way to the room of requirement, James was confident he would impress Lily. He was just screaming HOTT! Walking into the party he immediately spotted her.

A colourful scarf held her hair away from her face, a short top tied at the front, a mini skirt that advertised her creamy legs and platforms on her feet made her look conservative yet non-virginal.

The whole thing really appealed to James, heightening his desire. Moistening his lips and following Sirius' lips he made his way into the party and over to her side, in order to thank the host for the invite. Looking around the room he spotted some cushy love seats, perfect for snogging.

"Hey Sirius!" Lily said spying Sirius.

"Potter." she said, smiling at him.

"Please call me James, just for the party."

"Oh alright Pot-James" she visibly relaxed.

"Lily," Sirius grinned devilishly. "Thankyou for the invite." he grabbed her hand, and kissed it lightly. She blushed and James shot Sirius a very dirty look.

Sirius caught James' eye and smirked, playing on James' weak point.

"D'you want a drink?" asked James.

"Love one!" Sirius jumped in. James glared at him.

"By the looks of it you need one too," Sirius added indicating towards Lily.

"I feel like dancing," mused Lily.

James offered her his hand. She took hold of it and he pulled her up. Apparently he had used too much force because she flew into his strong arms.

James was having the best dance ever. Not only was he dancing with Lily, they were 'Grinding' a new Muggle concept.

James noticed Lily's eyes shining, her hair whipping as she danced, a rosy flush staining her cheeks. Her mouth with their supple lips were slightly parted, smiling. He pulled her closer, so her bare stomach was on his shirt, placing his hands on her hips.

Lily it appeared was no novice at the new style of dancing and moved sensually swinging her hips to the beat.

Daring to go further James let his hands drift upwards until he felt the cool material of her top. Pressing their bodies closer together they were almost in a tight embrace.

"So why the party?" questioned James.

"My 17th." she replied simply.

"Oh…I didn't realise." muttered James, ashamed about not thinking too deeply on it.

"S'alright!" she laughed good-naturedly.

"Promise I'll make it up to you." he whispered in her ear, "Any way you want." he finished, lightly sucking on her ear for emphasis.

"Promise?" she breathed, her hot breath tickling his bare flesh, sending goose bumps scattering over his skin.

"Promise." James muttered, pulling her closer, his hands again beginning to wonder.

"So what do you think?" questioned Lily.

"Of what?" replied James picking up an empty beer can.The party had ended an hour ago and both Lily and James were left, cleaning up the room.

"About the party." she laughed.

"Oh it was really great!" exclaimed James, "Though they left quite a mess behind."

"Yeah." agreed Lily, arranging a fallen chair. "Thanks for helping." she finished.

"Anything for you." he looked at her.

She turned and their eyes met, looking deep into each others souls.

"James….I," she stuttered.

"What is it Lily?" he asked, worried.

"Its just that…" she hiccoughed rather loudly.

"Oooops!" she giggled.

"Are you drunk?" James asked skeptically.

"Little bit tipsy is all…."she muttered before grabbing onto his arm for support.

AN: Hey all that was the 2nd chapter, next is the one night stand.

Thanks to all our fav reviewers, you are rokin our sox offfffff atm. Kisses and hugs to all with the answer being 19 (counted by Nikki)

Tootles.


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